What It Takes To Get What You Want In Bed: Nᵒ 2 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered
Smart, sexy, empowered women ask for and get what they want in bed. If you’re not feeling satisfied, follow these 4 tips that will help you ask for what you want, need and desire when you’re getting it on.
1. Know your body
If you want someone else to be able to satisfy you, you need to know how to satisfy yourself. So, nurture yourself by setting an atmosphere that’s relaxing yet sexy, and explore every inch of your body. If you want, add a toy to the solo sex session, like Amorino or the Fin Finger Vibe. And, be sure to use an organic lube (try AHYES!), as wetter is definitely better. Take note of what moves turn you on, and make a mental note so you can share it with your partner.
2. Say ______ and repeat several times
Look in the mirror and say a body part, favorite move or even moan (although know smart, sexy, empowered women never fake it during the act) then repeat over and over. Here’s what will likely happen. You’ll look in the mirror and say “clit” over and over again. At first you’ll likely giggle, then you’ll ease into it until what you’re saying won’t phase you—you’ll find your voice in what you’re repeating and make it sound sexy (an audible whisper sounds hot). Here's the deal: For everything you’re uncomfortable saying to your partner, it’s important to hear yourself saying it first. When you’re ready test it out, notice from your partner’s reaction how seductive you really sound. Typically, our partner’s don’t question what we say, they are psyched we’re talking erotically
3. Reinforce what’s going on
No one expects you to sound like a pornstar or be a pro from the start. Chances are once you let loose, the words will slide between your lips and out your mouth. Since you’re not going to blurt out what you want like you would ordering lunch, the best way to make the reveal is to build the anticipation and set yourself up for success. To do this simply touch yourself or touch your partner, say how you feel and reiterate what’s going on. If you’re stroking your partner’s penis say something like, “I love when your cock feels so warm and hard.” Then, you can focus on yourself saying something like “It makes me so hot when you suck my clit.” You don’t need to say a ton, but you want to make sure you say enough to articulate your desires.
4. Master the moves
Now that you feel comfortable sharing what you want, you just want it to be more seamless, right?!?! Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but unless it’s highly edited contrived porn, that’s not the norm. Sure, you can have a totally hot sack session without any awkward moments. And, that’s a great goal. However, know if a snafu happens no matter how big or small, just laugh it off or take care of business, and get back to getting it on and telling your partner what you want. Afterall, sex is best when it’s satisfying and perfectly imperfect.
Unleash even more pleasure and connection. Check out my mp3 and workbook: The Keys to Desire & The Art of Satisfaction