What Time of Day Is Best For Sex? Nᵒ14 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered
Many wonder what’s the best time to have sex. Some people like to get it on in the morning when their body is alert and relaxed. Others prefer to release stress from the day by having sex before going to sleep. Yet, it’s been said the most optimal time is 3pm.
A mid afternoon romp can be a nice break in the day, especially when many couples are increasingly working from home. However, it’s helpful to investigate this further to find the best time for you to have sex. And while we are talking about sex, keep in mind you can expand beyond the in-and-out. Cuddling, making out and outercourse can lead to pleasure and orgasmic bliss too.
24 Hours vs 28 Days
Let’s keep in mind that those with a penis are on a daily 24-hour loop—the circadian rhythm—related to their hormones. While there are many hormones at play throughout the day, testosterone and cortisol are highest in the morning. It’s pretty straightforward and consistent unless aging, illness or other challenging factors are involved.
For those with a vulva/vagina, in addition to the 24-hour circadian rhythm, hormonal shifts are also based on an infradian rhythm—which varies, however tends to be approximately 28 days. These rhythms are linked and influence each other. That being said, Alisa Vitti, Founder/CEO of FLO Living (please link to https://www.floliving.com) and author of In the FLO (link to www.intheflobook.com) classifies the four menstrual phases in a modern way by leveraging the menstrual cycle experience. These phases are: Follicular, Ovulatory, Luteal and Menstrual. It’s helpful to know that testosterone rises during the ovulatory phase, which is why the sex drive increases at this time (it drops around ovulation).
“When those who get their period track their libido patterns—as affected by the infradian rhythm across their cycle—and synchronize foreplay, timing and the addition of lubricant within the four phases, it's possible to biohack your system for optimal pleasure," says Vitti.
Taking it a step further to understand the best time of day for sex, a 2020 article in the journal Science, looked at various studies on our body clock and sleep. While the researchers didn’t address sexual activity, simplifying the article, a clearer picture emerges that can translate to sexual activity.
While men are most likely to perform best in the morning (the testosterone they produce overnight brings on arousal) their oestrogen peaks later in the afternoon – making them more emotionally attune.
Those with a vulva/vagina are more likely to be "morning types” and tend to have an earlier peak in their activity during the day.
Morning Sex
The perk for those with a penis is that morning wood can be spontaneous or happen more easily first thing in the morning due to the increase in testosterone levels. This can be particularly helpful for those with performance anxiety as erections are likely to be strong if the penis is able to get hard, potentially boosting confidence.
Since those with a vulva/vagina are more likely to be "morning types,” this can be advantageous when it comes to the best time to have sex.
Due to the endorphins released by sexual activity, having sex when you wake up can also be a great way to start your day. Energy levels are highest in the morning, which generally leads to higher satisfaction, while an orgasm sets off endorphins in the body which makes us feel good for the rest of the day. Other side effects include lower blood pressure, reducing stress.
Afternoon Sex
We've all probably heard of an afternoon delight, but you probably didn't know there was scientific evidence to back it up.
According to Vitti, "3pm is a good compromise. The reason for this timing is that at this hour of day the daily testosterone/cortisol pattern for those with a penis is slightly lower compared to first thing in the morning—so they may be more generous and attentive lovers. This tends to sync with the daily cortisol pattern for those with a vulva/vagina—who can be energized in the afternoon.
In a nutshell, afternoon sex is great because it's the time you're most likely to be in tune with your partner and their sexual desires (and vice versa). However, this is all contingent upon both parties being healthy, not having adrenal fatigue issues, or other hormonal or metabolic issues."
Evening Sex
Since those with a penis are more likely to be "evening types" or "night owls,” sex at night may work well for them, however not everyone feels the same way. The daily routine that may include work, cooking, doing laundry, taking care of kids and other chores may put the kibosh on even the thought of sex.
That being said, sex is a great way to release any stressors of the day making it easier to fall asleep, so it can be a possibility. We already know having sex releases feel good chemicals into the body, including oxytocin and serotonin. Oxytocin facilitates love and bonding between partners, and releasing this hormone before bed can strengthen your relationship.
So if you're usually the one saying no to sex at night, you might want to give it a go!
Getting in Sync
"It's helpful when both parties are fully aware of how their biological rhythms affect their libido patterns, desire and needs. Couples that communicate with each other, identify timing and engage in this awareness can better understand their hormonal reality when it comes to sex,” says Vitti. To make this easy, there is a partner sync feature in Vitti’s MyFLO Cycle Syncing Period App (link to https://myflotracker.com) for couples to do together. After all, noticing these patterns and matching up the results can identify the best time to have sex that works for both of you—whether it’s the morning, 3pm or some other time.