What You Need to Know About Faking Orgasms: Nᵒ8 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered

Q It’s been years since I’ve been able to orgasm from sex, and I fake it every time. Is this wrong of me?

A There’s the saying “fake it until you make it.” However, it’s important to consider who—if anyone—may get hurt in the process. A couple of thoughts: do you think you’re cheating yourself out of pleasure? Does faking it feel like you’re not being honest with your partner? It’s up to you to decide what you can live with and if you consider this “wrong.”

The reality is the in-and-out of sex doesn’t necessarily provide clitoral stimulation. This seemingly small erogenous spot you see on t\he outside, is also an internal structure made up of many parts. Not to mention, it has more than 6,000 - 8,000 nerve endings. That’s more than the entire penis! So, if your clit is being left out of the equation it could be a reason why your orgasms are elusive.

Let’s play detective...

  • Could it be that when you could orgasm in the past, you were with someone else (sexual styles, techniques and positions can make a difference)?

  • Have you ever masturbated and if you have, it is something you no longer do?

  • Did sex toys bring you to orgasm in the past and perhaps you haven’t used them in a while?

The good news is you know what it feels like to get off. You’re halfway there. To get back on track get in touch or back in touch with your body. Explore every inch of your skin and see what brings you pleasure. Focus on areas you find erogenous. Then zone in on your vulva (your sexual anatomy that you can see—your mons, clitoris, urethral opening, inner lips, outer lips and vaginal opening). Pay special attention to your clit by trying various pressures and patterns—rubbing, circular strokes, etc. See what resonates and where it leads.

Another option is to try a toy like the LELO LILY 2™. At their amazing speeds and pressures, vibrators are often unmatched by manual stimulation. Use a toy when you’re alone. Then next time, incorporate it into a sack session with your partner. You may just need a supercharged vibration on your clit to bring you over the edge.

It’s awesome if sex leads to orgasm, however for many women it’s not something that happens every time. And the intensity can be as simple as a sneeze or something more mind-blowing. Remember, the path to pleasure is a journey, so enjoy where it takes you and your partner.

Amy Levine