Bye-Bye Elusive Orgasms: Nᵒ 1 Secrets of the Sexually Empowered

If you’re frustrated your orgasms are elusive, know it’s quite common. Let’s be real: You may not be doing the basics that it takes to climax. Besides, even when you do reach the BIG O, know every orgasm is unique and isn’t necessarily obtained every encounter. So, enjoy the journey without holding yourself to an earth shattering standard. 

Try these 3 ways to help you begin to feel arousal increasing sensations:

1. Solo Sex

The surest way to become attuned to what will get you off: Explore your body during solo-sex sessions. Create a relaxing ambiance, and get into a comfortable position. Then, sensuously touch your skin from head to toe. Build your arousal as you find your hot spots, discovering how you want and need them stimulated. Adding organic lube to your fingers like AHYES!, explore your vulva (the visible area of your genitals) and vagina with varying pressures, strokes and rhythms. Rocking your hips front to back with subtle movements, and fantasizing a steamy scenario can also increase your excitement. 

2. Stimulate You Clit

Whether you’re alone or with a partner you likely need clitoral touch. Most sex positions don’t stimulate the clitoris—a necessary target for many women. So, try configurations that give space for you or your lover to touch this erogenous area manually. Or, slip a small vibrator between the two of you to increase the chances of making sex more euphoric. If you don’t like clitoral stimulation find another spot that feels good and see where it takes you.

3. Stay in the Moment

Whether you’re alone or with a lover, the trick is to stay in the moment. If you get discouraged, don’t give up. Simply refocus, refrain from making orgasm your goal, and try to take your pleasure one step further each session. The most amazing sensations that’ll bring you over the edge can happen when you least expect it. 

If after trying these tips you still have trouble climaxing, talk with your OB/GYN or other doc to rule out any physical culprits. Or, if you think there might be a psychological cause, find a certified sex expert who can help you get to the root of the orgasmic inhibitor.

Amy Levine